The Walls We Build

It has been said that when we die the people who attend our funeral that were true lifelong friends can be counted on one hand. I believe that is a true statement. It's crazy to think that if we are lucky enough to last 75-100 years on this earth we will only find a handful of people that were with us through thick and thin.

Why is our journey filled with so many relationships that never move to a deeper level?   I'm not sure I know the answer to that but I have three guesses as to why people don't develop deeper relationships and build walls instead:

1. No need for extra relationships
Some people already have a large support group and have no interest in adding to their group. They aren't interested in adding your or my name to their list of supporters. Also, there can be a mindset that more people in their inner circle increases the chances of a phony friend. I'm not sure if this is true but even Jesus had one in His inner crew.

2. Fear
Some people have been burnt in the past and are very protective of getting burnt again. Nothing wrong with this, I think people should have to earn the right to deserve your trust. Fear is never a good thing though, especially if it hinders us from nourishing our God-given need for others. Walls that we construct to keep out enemies can also keep us from needed friendships if we're not careful.

3. Lack of trust
Let's face it, not everyone on planet earth has your best interest in mind. Some people will use everyone around them as a stepping stone. Some people will gladly throw you under the proverbial bus, change the context of what you said, lie about you, and more in order to get ahead (So they think).

I suppose there are other individual factors as well such as personality, social class, sense of humor (Or lack thereof) which affect developing friendships. For myself, I don't believe one could ever have too many friends. I can't imagine a time where I would be unfriendly to someone because my friend count had "capped"

Although I've been burnt by plenty of people in my lifetime, I refuse to be fearful and neglect to reach out. In some ways, learning to love other people will teach us to conquer our fears and reach out. It requires a certain vulnerability to listen to another person, experience their pain, and risk being burnt one more time.

So that's my take on relationships. You may agree or disagree with it but I do believe regardless of your views you have to know that the relationships you develop during your time here on earth are what really make it worth living. Especially your relationship with the one Friend who would never do you wrong.

So learn to trust, strive to reach out, and be a friend to someone who needs you! God Bless!