It's often said that when one finds themselves in a bind and in need of help, they can truly find out who their real friends are. Although I agree with that statement I'd like to propose an even greater litmus test of friendship. Success. You can find out who is truly your friend when you experience huge success. Something about success seems to trigger a host of insecurities inside people that will absolutely challenge a friendship to it's core.Everyone likes hearing phrases like, "Good job!", "I'm happy for you!", or "I'm proud of you!". Yet I am amazed at how little most people use phrases like this. It takes almost zero effort and it actually ends up charging your own batteries in addition to the other person. So if it's so easy to do and it helps others to fight harder in life, why don't we do it all the time? I narrowed down a few possibilities:
1. Insecurity
Despite the polished appearance people try to put forward, many people are extremely insecure about their current place in life. When they see someone else surpass them from an earthly viewpoint, it makes them feel like they did something wrong. It makes them feel like they didn't try hard enough or take advantage of more opportunities.
It makes them feel like they didn't measure up in life. Sadly some people think that your success is somehow connected to their failure. For them, life is a competition of money, power, and fame.
2. Jealousy
They feel like the person reached success by chance when they have striven so hard to no avail. The truth is all too often people say they want to see you go far in life....but not too far. In other words, "I hope you do really well...just not better than me".
3. Malice
They may not like the person and only want to see them fail. Let's face it. We have all at some point wanted to see someone not succeed. Before you say that you haven't think about that guy that is a total jerk and thinks that everyone should bow down to their demands. Think about that person that hurt you deeply. Think about those people who hurt innocent children. Think about terrorists. Do you want to see people like that have huge success in life? Absolutely not!
One of the illusions in this life is that financial success determines the validity of a person's path. It's like David said in Psalms, "For I envied the proud when I saw them prosper despite their wickedness".
4. Pride
They may like the person but see themselves as way more capable and deserving of success. This is probably because often times from the outside looking in, only the surface of the success iceberg can be seen. The 75% of what it took a person to succeed is never seen.
Sitting here typing this in my living room my mind reflects on the many names and faces of my past of the people who were utterly entangled in these weaknesses. What a sad life it would be to have our hearts stopped up and clogged by insecurities that keep one from loving. On occasion, that person was me. As I grow in maturity the more I'm learning to be truly happy for others. I've learned the value of celebrating their victories with them. I think maybe one day if I've sown enough encouragement in the lives of others they might be there for me in my days of success in the future. We shall see!
My mission for now is to encourage, support, and give to as many people as I can. It's always humorous to watch peoples reaction when you offer them unexpected, undeserved, and unprovoked support. Some people who have been burnt try to figure out what your angle is. Others think you must be in desperate need of friends or something if you are doing something nice for them. Some people don't know what to make of you. Then there are always those who are in so much need of help, inspiration, and love that they truly appreciate everything you do for them. I think I've reached a point that I'm secure enough with myself to help all of them despite their reaction to my outstretched hand. Who in your life could use some reassurance, relief, and a boost of confidence that you can cheer on? Find out! God Bless!!
